Two of Them
by KrisCatherine
Summary: Jack's POV.. Sequel to 'Two of Us'


Title: Two of Them

Author: Kris

Email: [KrisCatherine@stargatesg-1.com][1]

Summary: Jack's POV

Spoilers: POV

Rating:

Feedback: Always, doesn't matter if it is off list or on.

Special Thanks: 

Authors Notes: Read 'Two of Us' first

Two of Them

I can't believe I am sitting here writing. I never do this, I hate to write mission reports, and you would be able to tell if you saw my office. It's a mess, I mean I have reports in there that still have to be written up from when Carter started here with the SGC three years ago. Well it's not that bad, but you get my drift. I hate to write it just bugs me.

Carter told me once that if I actually sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings I might feel better. Mind you she said this in a state of frustration because I was upset and wouldn't talk to her. If I remember correctly I had come close to losing her on a mission, I had to carry her back through the stargate and into the doc's more than capable hands. I remember I was so upset, that I might have actually lost her, that the good ole' doc gave me something to sleep. I think I drove her nuts pacing around the infirmary all night long. 

Anyway, I figured that maybe this time, I needed to do something about it. So here I am writing, wonders never cease.

Okay, well before I lose my nerve, I will start from the beginning. I was in my office, I don't remember what I was doing, probably paperwork(again). I heard Hammond page me to report to the infirmary. A number of scenarios past through my mind before I got there. But what I saw totally shocked me.

Carter was there in bed, with long hair. Wow, I never thought of her before, I mean military, short hair. That's it. But she looked, well she looked wonderful. Not that she doesn't look wonderful any day, in fact more like beautiful… aw hell, never mind. You get the picture.

Carter, you said this would help?

Well there I was, faced with two Carters. One that was not military, and one, well that I was, still am actually head over heals for. Not that she would ever find out mind you. Daniel pointed that little fact out to me a few months ago. I…we had almost lost her, I went nuts to say the least. Daniel and I had a nice little chat after we got her back to the infirmary. He actually dragged me from Sam's (yes I call her Sam here, she will never read it anyway, its my safe haven) bedside and to the cafeteria. 

"Jack…"

"I know Daniel."

"No you don't Jack. This, this thing you have with Sam, don't run away from it."

"I am not running away Daniel."

Full denial!

"Yes you are Jack. You know, I should know this feeling better than anyone, you should know it too Jack." He paused to gauge my reaction, he is right, I know how it is to lose a loved one. I really don't want to go through it again.

"Jack, if you love her, and I can see it in your eyes Jack, don't let it go, don't let her go."

With that we ate in silence. I knew he was letting his words sink into my stubborn mind. But I knew he was right. I have never felt this way towards anyone before in my life.

So here I am back faced with two Carters. I went to speak with Hammond, we had to give these two a place to stay, a place to start over. I don't know id I should be happy to know that there is now two Sam's in my world. 

I have to say as much as I am attracted and connected to Carter, this other Sam as something about her, I don't know. But to say that I could stay out of her life completely is hard to say, and I know I would be hurting both of them by doing that.

After the General gave me the news, I went in search of Kowalski. He was pleased to say the least, to be here, in a safe reality. Well as safe as you could get anyway. Next stop was Sam's room. Why was I nervous?

She thought I was some Airman bringing her food. Something was going on if Janet was ordering her to eat. Was there something between her and me, well her Jack in her reality? Why aren't I here with her? A thousand questions are running through my mind. Why do I feel like Carter at this moment?

I walk in and find her crying on her bed with a picture next to her. That's why, I knew it, we were something in her reality. That's when she tells me we were married. My heart goes out to her immediately and I pull her into a embrace.

Why do I have this automatic feeling to console this person so freely? I try my best to do this with Carter, not that it doesn't come easily, but its like I am always looking over my shoulder. That sounds funny, huh, me Colonel Jack O'Neill, one who doesn't follow regulations at all, is suddenly worried about making advancements on his second in command. 

Maybe it's because I don't want anything to happen to her, maybe I don't want her to have the scars on her military record I have on mine. I know that sounds chalice, but in a way its my way of protecting her. 

I want to protect her, I want to love her, I want I want I want…

Samantha tells me we were married in her reality. I don't know what to say. I wish Sam and I was able to get married, well maybe not married, but maybe just be able to be together. After what happened with my last marriage, I am not sure I am ready for that. 

She is crying now, telling me that Jack had died, she watched him die. Suddenly I feel for her, I know what it's like to lose someone you love. Charlie comes back into my mind, again. But also comes flooding back the memories of what happened on our last mission, I almost lost Sam. 

Needing some sort of comfort we embrace each other.

A bit later I find myself leaving, she needs her time to be alone and so do I. So, I leave only to find Sam standing there. Not that I don't mind seeing her, after the briefing she retreated to her lab, and I didn't see her all evening. I missed her, and here she is standing in front of me.

"Hello Sir." The same cheerful voice I look forward to everyday.

She goes on and tells me that she is going to see Samantha. I tell her that it isn't such a good idea. Carter looks at me strangely, I can tell she is wondering why. So I change the subject and ask how she is doing with this 'twin' thing. I have been asking her that so much lately, I guess its just a way for me to feel closer, to be concerned under for her, but be able to cover it up as well.

"You got a couple of hours?"

Wow, I didn't expect her to say that. I am screaming 'Yeah I do Sam! Yeah I do, come on let's go.' But all I say is yeah.

I don't know if she was expecting me to have my guard down that much to even accept her invitation. But I did accept, and she looked startled, like a deer caught in headlights. But she did smile at me, as she said goodnight.

Why do I feel so alone when she leaves my presence?

The next day we sit there in yet another briefing. Kowalski comes in and saying some to us about joining the mission. Which is fine by me for some reason I am not sure of, then he says something about doing anything for his best friends wife. Sam looked right at me, I can see the question of why in her expression. She is wondering why I didn't tell her that bit of information last night. I don't know why I didn't tell her to be honest. She looks hurt, great.

I am going to skip a few things here, I mean does it all need explaining? I can hear Sam in my head now, if you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer. Well Major, I am not going to listen, I am skipping ahead. Sorry.

I notice when we are standing at the mirror ready to go, she watches me, maybe its because she has to be left out of this one, or maybe it's something else, I am not sure. But I find myself missing her already and I hadn't left yet. 

Samantha went and did her thing when we went through. I can see the same determination, respect and other qualities that Sam has in her as well. But she isn't Sam, is she? Kowalski and I are getting ready to put the charge in the escape hatch so we can get the power generator online. He starts in about Sam, can I ask this, and does everyone know except me?

"You two look good together." 

Duh!

'In my reality Kowalski, she is my Major.' 

I will ask again does everyone know what is going on between Carter and myself, except us? I mean I know we are in an alternate reality now, but hell even they can see it.

We go through and connect the power generator, I followed all your directions Sam, and headed back to Daniel. Well we tried anyway. We were caught by the Gou'ld. 

Well what happened next is no surprise so I won't bore you with the details of it all. 

Daniel had finally found the right reality, thank god. I knew we shouldn't of shut it down, but when I turned and saw Sam standing there, and the Gou'ld coming down the hallway, I just didn't want anything to happen to her that's all. So I gave the order for Daniel to turn it off.

Samantha leaned in and started talking to me, you know I really hate to say it but I didn't really pay attention. I was caught up in her actually. The way she looked, spoke, it was so much like Sam, hell she is Sam, but she's not. Strange huh, anyway the though crossed through my mind that what if I stayed here with her, I could be with her, the way I can't be with Sam. Then my mind when to Sam, she was watching through the mirror, Samantha took my lead and said thanks to Daniel and Teal'c then turned her attention back to me. I wanted to say goodbye, but not with an audience.

Thank god for small wonders, they both took my hint turned and went back through the mirror. 

I look back at Samantha, could I have a life here? No, she isn't the one I want.

"My Jack had the same face, the same hands…" that's all I remember because for some odd reason I leaned in and kissed her. 

No, there was no fireworks, no outstanding feelings, nothing. She wasn't my Sam.

Sam, shit. Not that I could ever forget her, but I did for a moment. She was watching, I can see the look of dread, of mistake, or hurt in her eyes, for cryin' out loud her whole body is screaming it. 

She looked up at me with a cold smile and left. She just left me standing there.

I heard Daniel saying something to me, it didn't register what he was saying, but I followed him none the less.

What a great day..not!

   [1]: mailto:KrisCatherine@stargatesg-1.com



End file.
